August 18, 2009

Come to the well, Daughter.

Oh my goodness! I am amazed at the Lord's ways! It's Tuesday, and I'm at my parents preparing to leave. I don't want to leave. I am weary and tired and don't want to go back to the frantic activity of my daily life. My home is a work in progress, just like me. Chaos reigns, just as it does in my heart so often. I am not at peace there, though that is my goal...a sanctuary from the buffeting winds of life. Wouldn't it be so nice if my heart were continually at peace, if I could find sanctuary no matter where I am? So I sit here and cry out, "I'm dry, Lord."

His still small voice says, "Come to the well, Daughter."

So, I come.

John 4:6 "Jacob's well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about the sixth hour."

Even Jesus got tired from his journey, and he sat down by Jacob's well at the sixth hour. Jacob's well is at a fork in the road east of the city of Sychar in Samaria[1]. I am at a fork in the road, praying for direction, but feeling like I'm just spinning my wheels. The sixth hour is significant as a customary hour to rest and privately pray to God [2]. And of course, the sixth hour is when darkness covered the earth while Jesus hung on the cross [3]. In researching the sixth hour, I have found liturgical prayers that include "kyrie eleison" which has much significance for me.

I have to tell you...this is one of the most directed and meaningful personal messages I have yet heard from the Lord. This "little" conversation with God on a day when I am blue and weary has given wings to my soul. The Lord is so intimately involved in my life. I have doubted in the past that I matter all that much. I have spent a lifetime second guessing and questioning, wondering and hoping I would find His will without knowing that all along He has been revealing it. If he has been revealng it all along, then the darkness I see before me now in the form of unanswered questions about my future is not dark to Him. So, as so eloquently spoken in The Shack (Page 56), "Now comes the hard part, the waiting."

But it's not a passive waiting for manna to fall from heaven or for the next shoe to drop. It's an active waiting filled with prayer and obedience. I know this because the Lord has already put it in my heart to change some things, and this "little" conversation I've been having has brought up some past things he has spoken to my heart....So, what is my next step?

Again, I am just shaking my head in amazement at a God who is so personal...

Did I tell you that my life verse is Isaiah 60:1-3?
"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn."

Did I tell you that I had a dream once in which I was crawling around on my knees through chaos in an upper room, calling out "kyrie eleison," all the while searching for my purpose and place in my world?

Did I tell you that just last week I was inspired to write a new schedule that included beginning my day with a shower at 6:30 am (those of you who know me well know I didn't come up with this on my own) and taking regular breaks to be with my kids and making room for prayer and Bible study?

Did I tell you that I've been studying the significance of the number three and that the "Fixed Hours of Prayer" are divided by three?

So...what is my next step?

Here is where my research led:
Calvin Tradition
Liturgical Prayer
Prayer Book does all this apply to you??? The Lord speaks to his people, corporately and individually. What clues has the Lord been giving you over the years regarding his purposes for you? Sit at the well with him and have a conversation. He longs to talk with you and give you living water that within you will "become a spring of water welling up to eternal life [4]. (vs. 13-14)" Then, you can feed those who come to sit and chat with you.

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