A Blank Canvas

A Blank Canvas

Hello friends,
I'm back from my trip. I've been thinking of writing for the past couple of days, but haven't known what to write about. I decided that writing about what I'm thinking about is the best place to start. What I'm thinking about is space...not the black stuff with the stars and planets (though that is something worth a post at another time). I've discovered that space comes in seasons. I know I've given in to the discomfort of these seasons before. Rather than allowing the space to remain, I've filled it with activity, drama, or depression.

Thankfully, regardless of how I've stewarded past seasons, a new one always comes around. 'Tis the season for me now. This means that my most painful season of transition has finally come to an end. As such, I gladly welcome this space and have put forth my best attempts not to fill it with too much activity or drama. Depression is no longer a friend, so he doesn't even have an invitation to this party.

Wide Open Spaces

So, I have a few specific thoughts on this topic. First, that "home" isn't what I thought it was. I went "home" on my trip, but it no longer felt like home. When I returned "home" to California, I realized it doesn't fully feel like home either. Does that mean I'm homeless?

Second, that space is meant to be enjoyed and not always filled. I have read countless books, blurbs, and posts about the value of stillness, living in the moment, and practicing silence. It is my hope that all of this reading will translate into a rich practice in my life of living in the here and now, living with internal silence and peace, and living intentionally out of contemplation rather than reaction.

Open-Ended

As a writer, one of my favorite treatises on the importance of space refers to the white space on a page which allows us to read a book. Without margins and spaces between letters, it would be chaos to try to read. Have you ever done those puzzles where you have to determine where the spacing goes? Believe you me, we wouldn't want every book to be one of those.

My final thought is that the space itself creates a type of void that wills to be filled. It is my hope and prayer that I will resist the urge to fill all the space and that what I choose to fill this time will be filled with the best that God has for me rather than the good, mediocre, and poor that I've had a penchant for choosing in the past. To that end, I am moving slowly toward filling the space.

Abide in Me

As for the question of home, I've decided home is not a place. Here are the verses I've found to help me wrap my mind around this concept.

Colossians 1:19
"For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross."

John 15:4-5, 7
"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you."

I'm getting ready to start asking, but this time I'm going to ask more carefully!

In Peace & Joy,
Angela