I wanted so desperately to be done with being desperate. I wanted to wake up without the heavy weight of sorrow dogging me for one more day, making it hard for me to move and live and have my being in the One who created me.
I did what I know to do. I called a friend, and I poured it out again at her feet and His in the same ragged breaths. Then I did what needed to be done. I did the budget. Actually, I did more than that. I tackled it with hope and made the changes necessary to reflect reality.
Once I swallowed reality...really accepted it as it is in this moment, I wrote down the reality I want to see and the date I hope to see it by. And then I walked away from my home and it's messy chaos reflecting the inner chaos that has reigned in my heart for the past several days. I went to an oasis in the form of a woman who has taken me under her wing in this strange new land.
Anyway, suddenly I realized that what I was crying out for last night and this morning were suddenly mine...gift, freedom, light, LIFE!!!!
The enemies lies got the better of me for a couple of days, but they are set firmly beneath my feet today, and I am armed with wisdom and grace for myself that will protect me the next time he tries to steal my peace.
I am at peace, knowing that my hopes and dreams are in line with His for my life. I can walk confidently, knowing that I am walking from glory to glory with Him at my side and that even the moments the enemy has meant for my destruction will be rewritten as a triumph in the Book He is writing for me.