May 6, 2011

Washed Clean by the Words

"Mourning Dawned"
This morning dawned with the same familiar ache lodged in my guts. I cried because I wanted so desperately to see what I know was before hopes and dreams fulfilled by the One who planted them within my heart.

I wanted so desperately to be done with being desperate. I wanted to wake up without the heavy weight of sorrow dogging me for one more day, making it hard for me to move and live and have my being in the One who created me.

I did what I know to do. I called a friend, and I poured it out again at her feet and His in the same ragged breaths. Then I did what needed to be done. I did the budget. Actually, I did more than that. I tackled it with hope and made the changes necessary to reflect reality.

Once I swallowed reality...really accepted it as it is in this moment, I wrote down the reality I want to see and the date I hope to see it by. And then I walked away from my home and it's messy chaos reflecting the inner chaos that has reigned in my heart for the past several days. I went to an oasis in the form of a woman who has taken me under her wing in this strange new land.

Washed Clean
And I walked away from her with hope. Really, there are no words to describe the feeling of leaving a heavy load on the floor of a warm office, having been washed clean by the words and ministry of a friend who sees what lies beneath the surface of my words.

Anyway, suddenly I realized that what I was crying out for last night and this morning were suddenly, freedom, light, LIFE!!!!

The enemies lies got the better of me for a couple of days, but they are set firmly beneath my feet today, and I am armed with wisdom and grace for myself that will protect me the next time he tries to steal my peace.

Back Float
Yes, peace....the lake. I have become one with the lake I was standing on the edge of yesterday. I am floating on my back, gazing up at the sky filled with fluffy clouds, resting in the embrace of a flow that carries me where it will without concern for the outcome.

I am at peace, knowing that my hopes and dreams are in line with His for my life. I can walk confidently, knowing that I am walking from glory to glory with Him at my side and that even the moments the enemy has meant for my destruction will be rewritten as a triumph in the Book He is writing for me.


  1. Wow Angela those are some powerful words and more powerful than that is the knowledge that your Father in heaven is caring for you and his plans for your life are in his hands. Thanks for sharing

  2. Thank you for sharing, Angela. Hope is such an underrated element of our 'walk' with Jesus!

    Proverbs 13:12
    Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

    May your 'tree of life' continue to thrive!

  3. Thank you both! I am definitely feeling the hope today in full force. Scott, that Proverb has been running through my mind this week. I love how He placed it on your heart, too, and I fully receive your prayer and blessing for my life.

  4. Such a blessing that He gives us a new day, day after day after day. Glad you were able to face the reality by doing what you could, thereby effectively placing it in God's hands where He can transform it in ways impossible for you or me!