The Call of My Heart

A Divine Calling

I'm reading a great book, "Callings," by Gregg Levoy. It is speaking to the deepest part of my core about how to navigate the next season of our lives. I just wanted to share an excerpt that struck me as especially relevant to my walk today.

"Patience is the missing link in the discernment process, in the search for clarity of calling and readiness of heart, and in the waiting for events to unfurl and talents to ripen. These things seldom burst into being all at once. They accrete like the shells of oysters, bubble up and cool like lava, adding layer by layer onto the armature of themselves. Drumming our fingers won't make events move any faster.

"We suffer from the cultural misapprehension that waiting means doing nothing. Great fanfare, for example, usually attends the moment of inspiration, the aha, the eureka--Sir Isaac Newton's revelation upon the apple, Archimedes' bathtub epiphany about specific gravity, Samuel Coleridge's epic poem "Kubla Khan," which is said to have popped into his consciousness whole. Little notice, however, is taken of the usually lengthy period that precedes it--the period of observation, meditation, experiment, uncertainty, frustration, fits and starts; the period of asking the questions over and over, of sleeping on it and pitching in our sleep. We love the answers and suffer the questions. We worship the flower and ignore the soil. We covet the diamond and overlook the pressure it took to make it."

Patience

When I read these last sentences, I wonder if this is some of what Jesus was talking about when he said:

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:28-34)

Exasperation

The absence of worry in my life has always been marked by patience and surrender. I am seeking His kingdom, hoping to find it within the recesses of a quiet soul and a grateful heart. I am seeking to live in the moment. There were a few moments in the middle of the day, on a hike with my family through the woods, when I was fully present. I set aside the arguments of the morning and abandoned myself to the beauty and serenity of a walk through the woods with my curious and delightful children and my nature-loving husband. The arguments began again shortly after getting back into the car, but tonight I'm remembering that moment and realizing that although I have a long journey of learning ahead of me, I'm beginning to get the hang of living in the moment.

Despite the fact that a few minutes ago I was frustrated with my children, and raised my voice in an effort to keep them in their rooms (why do I never remember that it won't work???), I am grateful that it is still today. I have taken these few minutes to take stock of what is important, and despite the fact that my husband has also thrown his hands in the air and told me he's just going to close the door on them and let them wreak havoc in there, I have turned my heart toward God. I can feel Him gently working on my heart, bringing me peace and comfort, letting me know that it's going to be all right, and letting me know that the day is not over yet. I can still turn my heart toward Him and ask Him for His mercy, His grace, and His solutions to the problems of this day. And He will meet me, and I will go to bed in peace. Thank you, God.

Go In Peace