Day 28: Childlike or Childish?

Human Wisdom

Today I am in great need of wisdom. I'm so grateful for my friend who helped me see where I am using human wisdom to govern my life instead of God's wisdom. My prayer for myself is that I would be like a child in my trust and in my faith; that I would allow Him to reveal His plan to me rather than spinning my mind around logic and human wisdom trying to figure out what it is that He already knows.

When I plan a trip, I typically wait to tell my children about the details of the plan until we need to get ready to leave. In the meantime, I may be making all the preparations, and we may be doing some of them together (like cleaning house or taking a bath). However, they are not weighed down with issues of finances, logistics, or details.

I may even give them hints along the way, telling them they're going to be surprised and excited or that I am planning something special for them. They may bug me for awhile to tell them, but eventually they lose themselves in their play, their books, or their movies and "forget" about it all until I tell them to get their clothes and shoes on so we can leave.

A New Thing

There is something I've been given a hint about...a change that God has up His sleeve for our family. I've been told to pack and get ready to move, but I don't know where or when we are going. He has told me that I will like it, and I have been filling in the gaps with my human wisdom, thinking of the place(s) I want to go where I think I will be happy.

I have days when I get absorbed in my adult version of play (sorting, organizing, packing, writing, reading, working), but there are other days when I argue with Him and tell Him how I think things ought to go or nag Him to tell me more. There are days when I pout and petulantly tell Him I won't go anywhere but where I want to go. I've cried, yelled, and pouted...yep, did all that this morning. I've ranted and raved about how I just want to go where I want to go. I've told friends and my husband, but always I hear the same message, which sounds a whole lot like Acts 1:7 with the insertion of "location" in the mix:

"It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority."

Father's Embrace

Thankfully, I know that God is not concerned about my bad attitude or temper tantrum anymore than I'm afraid or worried when my kids pout and kick and fight with me. He's perfectly happy to wait for me to come around to a place where I can feel His arms enfold around me and His lips kissing away my tears.

In those moments He thoroughly comforts me and reminds me that He knows what is best for me and knows exactly all that I'm hoping for and longing for. He reminds me that when the time is right He will reveal it to me, but in the meantime that my security never comes from where I am. He knows that what I am really longing for I already have in Him.

The Secret Place

I am learning, day by day, step by step, tantrum after tantrum, what it means to abide in Him; what it means to find my peace, my security, my hope, and my joy within, in the secret place in my heart where He dwells. I am so grateful that He knows exactly what I need to come back to that place of safety...of remembering that He is my only true home!